The Animal Song or Duo's Mystical Journey
by Konie
Summary: Duo has an ordinary day where he buys an ordinary CD player...and when he plugs in his fave CD...well...he gets transported to a magical dreamworld, where Heero in loincloth and Chibis abound!
1. An Ordinary Day

"The Animal Song, or Duo's Magical Journey"  
  
By: The one and only, Konie!!  
  
OK, I wrote this one-day during my breaks at work. That explains it totally.  
Trust me, it does.  
  
The G-Boys aren't mine, even though I really wish that they were. I wish even  
more that they were real. "I'm a real boy, Papa!" Said Pinocchio. "I'm all  
yours, Konie!" Said Duo. Yeah, in my dreams, but point proven.  
  
  
Duo fell asleep in his own bed, in a very ordinary way. Duo fell asleep in his  
own bed in a very ordinary way on a very ordinary night.   
  
Duo had had a pretty ordinary day. He'd gone shopping in an ordinary way.  
He'd gone shopping in an ordinary way and gotten a new CD player.   
  
So, going to sleep in his very ordinary way, Duo decided to listen to his  
ordinary CD player. He put in his current favorite ordinary CD, Savage  
Garden's Affirmation.   
  
Little did he know that the "ordinary" CD player he bought wasn't as ordinary  
as it seemed. It was a magical CD player.   
  
Duo bought it in a little ordinary looking shop.   
The person who sold it to him looked ordinary enough. He was an  
Indian-accented man with one ordinary tooth. The ordinary Indian-accented  
man with one ordinary tooth liked to sell "ordinary" knick-knacks.   
  
Little did Duo know that the ordinary looking Indian-accented man with one  
ordinary tooth's shop wasn't quite ordinary. It was extraordinary. Each  
"ordinary" item in the extraordinary shop had an ordinary spirit inhabiting it.  
Usually, or ordinarily, the spirits were harmless. These spirits usually   
granted ordinary wishes.   
  
Anyway, Duo bought the "ordinary" CD player from the ordinary looking   
Indian-accented man with one ordinary tooth's extraordinary shop. Duo  
bought the "ordinary" CD player from the ordinary looking Indian-accented  
man with one ordinary tooth's extraordinary shop DESPITE the warnings  
from the ordinary looking Indian-accented man with one ordinary tooth.  
  
The ordinary looking Indian-accented man with one ordinary tooth's warning  
was that "grave misfortune" went with the owner of the "ordinary" CD player.   
  
So, Duo bought the "ordinary" electric blue CD player from the ordinary   
looking Indian-accented man with one ordinary tooth.   
  
"You'll be sorry!" Said the ordinary looking Indian-accented man with one  
ordinary tooth, "Or you'll be really happy! I don't know which!"  
  
Duo left the extraordinary shop owned by the ordinary looking   
Indian-accented man with one ordinary tooth.   
  
As Duo turned around to get one last look at the extraordinary shop, Duo saw  
that the extraordinary shop wasn't there anymore. Neither was the   
ordinary looking Indian-accented man with one ordinary tooth.  
  
Yup, a very ordinary day for Duo.  
  
  
Well, Duo started his "ordinary" CD player and put it on repeat of his favorite  
song, "The Animal Song". His favorite part in the   
way-wicked-cool-not-possibly-ordinary-song was "Animals and Children tell the truth they never lie/ Which one is more human there's a thought now you decide." He liked to sing that one ordinary phrase from the way-wicked-cool-not-possibly-ordinary-song over and over and over again. It annoyed Duo's not-so-ordinary crush, Heero, greatly.  
That's why Duo did it.   
  
Anyway, Duo's ordinary way of sleeping yielded an ordinary dream (at least  
ordinary for Duo). Heero. Heero with whipped cream. Heero with whipped  
cream and strawberries.  
Duo enjoyed the ordinary dream just like he did any and every other time.   
  
Duo's alarm clock went off in its ordinary way. Duo reached for the snooze  
button like he ordinarily did, only to find that there was NO snooze.   
  
Deciding to open his most-definitely-extraordinarily-beautiful-eyes, Duo   
would have ordinarily seen his ceiling.   
  
However, on this extraordinary occasion, he didn't see his ordinary ceiling.   
  
Duo saw the sky.  
  
This caused Duo to shriek. Duo never shrieked, but on extraordinary  
occasions, he does. This is an extremely extraordinary case.   
  
Duo sat up in his ordinary bed, causing his ordinary black silk sheets to fall.   
Duo screamed. Normally, and ordinarily, Duo would have seen his posters   
of his best friend, and Gundam, Death Scythe.   
  
However, since this was an extraordinary occasion, he saw trees and a beach.   
  
"What the hell…?" Duo said, looking around the ordinary sand beach.   
  
Duo was, extraordinarily enough, scared.   
  
Stepping out of his ordinary bed and kicking around his ordinary black silk  
sheets, Duo's wonderfully-crafted-not-ordinary foot touched sand. A big  
pile of sand.   
  
Looking down, Duo saw that someone had drawn ordinary arrows in the  
ordinary sand with an ordinary stick. Using his   
not-so-ordinary-gifted-mind, Duo followed the ordinary arrows in the  
ordinary sand drawn with an ordinary stick.   
  
The ordinary arrows in the ordinary sand drawn by an ordinary stick led the  
not-so-ordinary-gifted Duo around the ordinary deserted island, back to  
Duo's ordinary bed and ordinary black silk sheets.   
  
"Bloody hell…" Duo muttered, utterly and unordinarily confused.   
  
Then, Duo heard a sound. Duo heard some ordinary drums playing. Duo  
heard some ordinary bongo drums playing.   
  
Duo followed the source of the ordinary bongo drums' sound. And, since  
this was an extraordinary day, he did. Duo found the source of the  
ordinary bongo drums' sound.  
  
Duo stared at what he saw.  
  
Duo saw his not-so-ordinary crush, Heero.  
Duo saw his not-so-ordinary crush, Heero, playing the bongo drums.  
Duo saw his not-so-ordinary crush, Heero, playing the bongo drums in a loincloth.   
Duo saw his not-so-ordinary crush, Heero, playing the bongo drums in nothing BUT a loincloth.  
  
Heero pulled Duo closer to him.  
  
"Me Heero."  
  
"Duh."  
  
"You Duo."  
  
"Another duh."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Duo Heero's mate."  
  
  
AN- AREN'T I EVIL?!?!?!?!!? I'll think about more chapters later, this was just  
the scene that's been floating around in my head for the past few months…  
yeah, months…I've been busy.   
Anyway…C&C!!!!  



	2. Chapter 2: The Little Dude's Village

NOTE: Song lyrics are in /.../  
  
"What?!" In all of my dreams, Heero never said that ONCE!  
  
"Duo Heero's mate." He said again, as if I was the one that didn't understand.   
  
"You have no idea how I've wanted you to say that…but still! This is only a  
dream!"  
  
/When superstars and cannonballs are running thru your head, Television  
freak show, cops and rubbers everywhere/  
  
  
"No dream. Real." Heero said, pulling me closer to him, but roughly  
grabbing me around the waist and yanking.   
  
"How…can it be…?" I asked, confused.   
  
Well… instead of answering, he responded non-verbally. He decided that he  
wanted to play tonsil hockey. Being the nice guy I am, I didn't argue.   
  
How I wanted to rip that one…little…loincloth off…but, they say that patience  
is a virtue, and you know me, a very virtuous guy. So, I decided that the  
loincloth stripping and other various things that followed could come after  
this real dream. I still wasn't sure that this was a dream. If it wasn't, hot  
damn! If it was only a dream…well…still, hot damn!  
  
"Oh! How cute they be!" A little high pitched voice squeaked.   
  
Pushing me away abruptly, Heero bellowed at the little voice, "You here what  
for?"   
  
"Reason I have not." The little voice said, stepping out from behind a sand  
dune. It looked like Quatre! Well…a teeny tiny version of Quatre. He smiled  
at me, and he looked positively EVIL. Never saw THAT one coming.  
"You here why?" He asked, pointing to me. And glaring. Boy, this little  
Quatre was scary!  
  
/Subway makes me nervous/  
  
"I…uh…well…" I stuttered, trying to figure it out myself. I hadn't really given  
much thought to WHY I was here. I was simply enjoying myself too much…  
  
"Duo here. Need no say. Heero want Duo. Go you." Heero stated in very…  
very simply terms.   
  
/People pushing me too far…/  
  
"Fine... Trowa-Chibi want me. Go I." The little Quatre said, before huffing  
off. "Beware."   
  
"Ok…the little dude that looks like Quatre scares me."   
  
"Worry not. Bother us he no more."   
  
OK…officially weirded out. Backwards talk scares me.   
  
"OK." I answered, becoming REALLY aware of how close Heero was holding me.   
  
/Got to break away/  
  
"Come, go we now." Heero said, picking me up and carrying me into a little  
village. Amazingly enough, all of the people were as small as the little  
Quatre dude!  
  
  
  
"Ooh…Prince Heero mate he brings!" All of the little people said in awe.  
I didn't know I was THAT handsome.   
  
"Shit thee not, I say. Great be me, say I. Heero's mate I be, I be, Heero's  
mate I be!" I sang, for some unknown reason.   
  
"Shit thee not, he say, he say! Great he be! Like us talk he!" They sang  
back, getting into a conga line and dancing around Heero and me.  
  
"Mate of mine be he!" Heero sang, a very high note ending it. Amazing.  
I'd never heard a guy sing THAT high.   
  
With the song and dance routing over, the little people, who I came to  
know as Chibis, showed me some of their tribal dances.  
  
/So take my hand now/  
  
"Ah… how…um…cute they are, Prince Heero." I said, knowing that he could  
understand my normal-speak. I snuggled up closer to him, as it was a cold  
night and we weren't all that close to the ceremonial fire.   
  
"Not Prince. Only Heero to you." He said, wrapping his arm around me. He  
leaned in and kissed my forehead, "And yes, they be cute." Ahh…he was  
trying to speak my language. Well…he didn't realize that he could, pretty  
well.   
  
  
  
All he had to do was kiss me again.  
  
AN-Well...chapter 2...what do ya think? I know I made this one in Duo's POV.  
What can I say? It's a lot easier for me to write in a chara's POV than in a  
narrator-type way. Anyway, I hope you liked it!  



	3. Chapter 3: The Great Chibi Battle

Song Lyrics in /…/  
  
/Cuz I want to live…like animals…/  
"Ne, Heero, what am I doing here? Quatre-Chibi seemed to know a bit earlier,  
when he was trying to beat me up. Was he a rival for your mate or  
something?" I asked, snuggled up to Heero in his tent. It was the biggest  
tent…for obvious reasons.  
  
"No. But his family was rival with my family for lead." He said. He and I had  
spent all day teaching him to talk like me and me to talk like him. He'd had  
more success than I did.   
  
"Oh, so he doesn't like you? And that's why he didn't want you to have a mate,  
to carry on the Heero name?"  
  
"Exactly right."  
  
"But you do realize…Heero…" I said, blushing, "That we can't make a baby."  
  
"Yes, we can."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Special ways, known only to my village. Do you see any females here?"  
  
Come to think of it, there were only male Chibi, and Heero. Now, Heero and me.  
  
/Careless and free (like animals)/  
  
"WHY aren't there any females here, Heero?" I asked, kinda sleepy.   
  
He smiled; he obviously liked this story, "Long ago, as in 100 years ago, there  
were females here. There were two villages, the male Chibi and the female  
not Chibi. They lived together happy. One day, the female not Chibi queen,  
Heather, got angry that the Chibi King would not marry her. "You fat."  
He told her. So, she tried to get rid of all the Chibi. My great-grandmother,  
Konie, helped the Chibi against her tyrant queen. For her help, she was  
made Queen of the Chibi and she married the King. She was about as tall as  
a Chibi anyway, so no one really was afraid of her. Without their  
Queen Heather, the weak female not Chibi went away to live in the  
Outer World. That is where Duo came from."   
  
"So, they all went away? What happened to the Queen Heather?"  
  
"She was executed a traitor's death. She had her head cut off and it was  
paraded all over the island. Then, our magic masters shrunk it. I keep it in  
that box over there." He said, pointing.   
  
I got up, my curiosity overtaking me, and opened the wooden chest.  
I gasped, pulling back in fright. I'd never seen a shrunken head with a long  
blonde ponytail before. Hell, I'd never seen a shrunken head before!  
  
/I want to live, I want to run thru the jungle, the wind in my hair, the sand  
at my feet…/  
  
"Don't worry. She not bite." Heero said, coming up behind me and putting  
his arms around my waist.   
  
"I know, but still… she's freaky looking. And…so evil looking too. Do you  
know if she looked so mean when she was alive?"  
  
"Yes, that story handed down by royal family. We have picture of great  
battle where Konie helped male Chibi to win." He said, moving the head  
aside and pulling out a parchment. The picture showed a beautiful warrior  
female, not much taller than the Chibi males. My guess: Konie. She had  
a long sword in her hand, and she was fighting with a rather large fat girl.  
She had a long ponytail. My guess: Heather. She looked like an evil Chibi,  
although…she seemed like one of those evil Disney characters more. Like  
Scar and Ursula mixed. She had only her shield left, her sword knocked to  
one side. She'd fallen, leaving her neck open for a hit, and that's where the  
very tip of Konie's sword was. Male Chibi had surrounded the two females.  
Konie looked as if she was saying, "Make my day."   
  
That picture helped a lot, "The one with the sword is Konie, right?"  
  
"Yes. Do you not see the resemblance?"  
  
"Um…yeah, your hair is the same color, like your eyes. And…you're as tall as  
a not Chibi. That's odd."  
  
"All of the royal family is tall now."  
  
"And is that why you want me to help?"  
  
"No. Heero loves Duo."  
  
AN-OK...I know...slightly morbid. I don't like Heather. (If you're reading this  
and your name is Heather...don't worry, I don't mean you. There's a bitch  
named Heather at my school and she's done a lot of shit to me, so I don't mean  
YOU! OK? Good. Yeah, I know...self-insertion. Not too much though. =-)  
Thanks for reading!  



End file.
